Date night games for couples: 12 games to play at home tonight, with just one phone

It's 9:15. The kids are in bed, or at least in their rooms, the dishwasher is running, and there you both are on the couch, each with a phone in hand, scrolling through things you'll have forgotten by morning. It's not that you don't want to spend time together. It's the idea that's missing, and the energy to come up with one at this hour.

That's exactly what date night games for couples are for. A game decides what happens next so you don't have to, it puts something at stake on an evening that had nothing going on, and it gets you laughing before you've had time to tell yourselves you're tired. It just has to start in two minutes, with no box to dig out of the closet and no rulebook to read: at 9:15 on a weeknight, nobody sets up a board.

So here are twelve games for date night at home, in the order the evening runs: at the table, in front of the show, in bed when there's fifteen minutes left, and when you have a whole hour to yourselves. They start out funny and end up a lot less innocent. All you need is a phone, the one you were already holding, and sometimes a pen. You'll also find twelve rules to draw at random for the TV show game, a table to pick the right game for the energy you have left, and answers to the questions people ask before they start.

Two rules that apply to all twelve games

Each game has its own rules, spelled out below. Two of them apply to every game, and you settle them before the first round.

• What the loser pays: early in the evening, a light dare or tomorrow's dishes; later on, a piece of clothing, or the right to decide what happens next. Say it out loud before you start. A stake set after the fact by whoever just won is always a little too greedy, and the other person knows it. So you're not making it up on the spot, keep a list of dirty dares for couples within reach.
• The word that stops everything: a word that has no business being there, "umbrella" or "cheddar", and that ends the game on the spot, with no discussion and no penalty. It's what lets everything else be firm: in these games you don't turn down an instruction, or if you do, it costs you something.

At the table or just after: three games to get you laughing again

The start of the evening is when you're still half inside the day: the 4 p.m. meeting, the permission slip in the backpack, the laundry that needs moving to the dryer. These three games aren't the least bit naughty, and that's on purpose. They're there to switch gears, and laughing is the shortest way to get there.

1. The secret word: slip a word into dinner without getting caught

You need: a phone, to type the words. Time: as long as dinner lasts.

Before you sit down, each of you picks a word for the other, types it into the phone's notes and shows it to them. The word has to be absurd in your usual conversation: "hippopotamus", "notary", "Albuquerque", "bottle opener". During dinner, each of you has to work yours into a sentence, naturally enough that the other doesn't notice.

The moment you think you've spotted the other's word, say "caught you!" If you're right, they lose. If you're wrong, you lose. Whoever gets their word in without being caught, and reveals it over dessert, wins, and the other clears the table.

Why it works: for the first time in a long while, you actually listen to every sentence the other says over dinner, waiting for the trap. And to slip "hippopotamus" in without raising suspicion, you have to invent some ridiculous story, which the other listens to while wondering if this is the one. The most ordinary dinner of the week turns into a game of bluff.

2. The blind photo roll: a random picture, and the other has to date it

You need: whichever phone has the most photos of the two of you. Time: twenty minutes.

One of you scrolls through the camera roll very fast, without looking, and stops at random. You look at the photo, cover the date with your thumb, and show it to the other, who has to say the year, then what was going on that day. Two points for the exact year, one point for being within a year, and one more point for telling the story of the day: where you were, who took the picture, what you ate. If your finger lands on a screenshot or a parking receipt, scroll again. Ten photos each, and whoever has fewer points pays the agreed stake.

Why it works: the photos from ten years ago show two people you'd lost track of a little, the ones who took off for the weekend on a whim and took pictures of each other in bed on a Sunday morning. The game doesn't make you talk about them. It just puts them back in front of you, and the conversation takes care of itself.

3. Fishbowl, the story of you: twenty memories, three rounds

You need: twenty scraps of paper, a pen, a bowl and the phone's timer. Time: thirty minutes.

Each of you writes down ten shared memories, one per scrap, in two or three words: "the flat tire on I-95", "the campsite at Lake Tahoe", "your mom and the turkey", "that night at the motel in Santa Fe". All twenty scraps go in the bowl. With two players, Fishbowl is a team game: you play together against the bowl, each of you takes forty-five-second turns giving clues, and a round ends when the bowl is empty. Then all the scraps go back in for the next round.

• Round one: describe the memory with as many words as you like, except the ones written on the scrap.
• Round two: one word, not one more.
• Round three: act it out, without a sound. And this round is played in three minutes total: every scrap still in the bowl when the timer goes off costs a piece of clothing to whoever wrote it.

Why it works: every round uses the same scraps, so by round three you find yourself acting out "your mom and the turkey" without being allowed to say a word. And reading the other's ten scraps, you find out which memories of you they've held onto, which are almost never the ones you would have written.

In front of the TV: two games you play during the episode

You were going to watch an episode anyway. Might as well make it count. These two games piggyback on whatever you're already watching, without stopping the show or changing the couch ritual, apart from what happens on the couch.

4. The pause button: three times an episode, the other obeys for thirty seconds

You need: the remote, and the phone's timer. Time: one episode.

Each of you gets three pauses per episode. When you hit pause, you give an instruction, and the other carries it out for thirty seconds before you hit play again. At first, the instructions are sweet: "rub my neck", "go get the chocolate", "tell me what you really think of that character". Then you notice there are two pauses each left and twenty minutes of episode, and they change character: "take off your sweater", "kiss my neck", "unhook my bra without looking".

The third pause is special: its instruction doesn't last thirty seconds, it lasts until the credits. "Put your hand under my T-shirt and leave it there" takes on a whole new meaning with fifteen minutes of episode to go.

Why it works: the pause button becomes a kind of power, and nobody wants to spend it too soon. The result is that the two most interesting pauses always land in the last fifteen minutes, and nobody is really following the plot anymore.

5. The TV show game: three rules drawn before the episode

You need: the list of rules just below, or the random draw on this page. Time: one episode.

Before you start the episode, draw three rules from the list. Every time the situation happens on screen, you do what the rule says, no negotiating. It's the idea behind TV drinking games, minus the alcohol, and with a lot more consequences.

The show you pick changes everything. In front of "Bridgerton", where someone kisses someone every four minutes, the game lasts fifteen minutes and you won't see the end of the episode. In front of a "Law & Order" rerun, it lasts the whole episode and builds slowly. Pick according to the time and what you have in mind for afterward.

The TV show game: twelve rules to draw before the episode

Three rules per episode, no more: beyond that, you spend more time checking the list than watching the screen. Draw them at random, and change them for the next episode.

1. The kiss. Every time two characters kiss, you kiss too, for as long as they do, and not a second less.
2. The lie. Every time a character lies, the first of you to call it out loud picks a piece of clothing the other takes off.
3. The door slam. Every time a character storms out of a room, one of you takes a piece of clothing off the other, taking turns.
4. The name. Each pick a character. Every time yours is called by name, the other kisses your neck.
5. The drink. Every time a character takes a drink, one of you gives the other a sip, and the other isn't allowed to use their hands.
6. The song. Every time a song plays during a scene, one of you strokes the inside of the other's thighs until it stops.
7. The flashback. Every time the show jumps back in time, tell the other, in one sentence, about a time you had sex before the kids, and where.
8. The villain. Every time the episode's bad guy appears on screen, whoever spotted him first gives the other an order, which they obey for thirty seconds.
9. The outfit. Every time a character shows up in underwear or shirtless, you match their outfit, if you're not there already.
10. The "I love you". Every time a character says "I love you", each of you whispers in the other's ear one thing you want to do to them after the episode.
11. The sex scene. Hit pause and replay the scene for one minute, your way, before you hit play again.
12. The credits. When the end credits roll, whichever of you is wearing more has lost: they take off everything that's left, and the other decides what happens next.

In bed, fifteen minutes before sleep: three games with nothing to prepare

This is the moment when one of you says "okay, bedtime?", hand already on the light switch. These three games are played under the covers, by the bedside lamp. They can stop at any moment, or end up somewhere you didn't plan.

6. Two truths and a lie, the bedroom version

You need: nothing. Time: fifteen minutes.

Taking turns, you each say three sentences about your sex life: two true, one false. They can be about your life before ("I've had sex on an overnight train"), about the two of you ("on our wedding night, I pretended to fall asleep first"), or about things you never say ("I've masturbated thinking about you at work", "I'd like to try anal", "I've wanted you in the middle of a parent-teacher conference"). The other has to find the lie. If they get it wrong, they take off a piece of clothing. If they get it right, you do. Five turns each.

The rule that makes the game: once the lie is found, the other gets one question, just one, about either of the truths, and you answer honestly.

Why it works: the lie protects you. You can slip a real desire in between two sentences without ever saying it's true, and see how the other reacts before you own it. This game is often how something nobody asked for in fifteen years finally comes up, in the form of a question: "wait, the overnight train thing, was that true?" For more confessions of the same kind, our dirty never have I ever questions for couples has sixty of them, from giggles to no-filter.

7. Naughty Scattergories: one letter, six categories, one minute

You need: the phone's notes, or a piece of paper each. Time: fifteen minutes.

One of you runs through the alphabet in your head, the other says "stop", and the letter you stopped on is the letter for the round. Each of you then has one minute on the timer to find a word starting with that letter in each of the six categories:

• A body part
• A place to have sex
• A piece of clothing or underwear
• Something you do in bed, as a verb
• A celebrity you find hot
• Something you'd like to try

With the letter C, that might give you: calves, car, corset, caress, Chris Hemsworth, cuffs. One point per answer, two if the other didn't put the same thing. Five letters, and whoever has the most points picks one answer from the other's "something you do in bed" or "something you'd like to try" column, from any round: that's what you're doing tonight.

Why it works: the letter makes you write words you'd never have said out loud, and it gives you an excuse. With the letter A, you'll see one of you write "anal" in the last column and swear it's the letter's fault. The celebrity column, meanwhile, tells you things you never suspected.

8. The voice memo: thirty seconds recorded behind the bathroom door

You need: a phone and earbuds. Time: ten minutes.

One of you takes the phone into the bathroom, closes the door, opens the voice memo app and records thirty seconds: what you'd like the other to do to you tonight, exactly, in the words you wouldn't dare say looking at them. You come back, hand over the phone and the earbuds, and stay quiet while the other listens. The listener picks one of the things they heard and does it, right away. Then you switch. At the end, you delete both recordings, together.

Why it works: talking to a phone, alone, door closed, is infinitely easier than talking to someone who's looking at you. And for the one listening, hearing the other's voice in your earbuds asking for oral sex, in their own words, does something the same sentence said out loud never would.

A whole hour to yourselves: four games that end in bed

The kids are sleeping over at the grandparents', or they're truly out for the night. These four games take a little longer than the others, and they make no claim to staying innocent.

9. The restaurant menu: one writes the menu, the other orders

You need: the phone's notes, to write the menu. Time: five minutes for the menu, forty-five for service.

One of you writes a restaurant menu: three appetizers, three entrées, three desserts, each with a name and a price in minutes. It's the menu of what you're willing to offer tonight, and you write it like a real one:

• Appetizers: "shoulder massage with warm oil" (5 minutes), "the neck kiss, hands behind the back" (3 minutes), "the slow undressing, one piece a minute" (6 minutes).
• Entrées: "the full-body massage, everything included" (10 minutes), "oral sex, customer's choice" (10 minutes), "the chef's position" (15 minutes).
• Desserts: "shower for two" (10 minutes), "sex, the customer decides everything" (20 minutes), "cuddling with no phones until one of you falls asleep" (on the house).

The other has a budget of forty minutes and orders an appetizer, an entrée and a dessert without going over. The server serves, in order, and doesn't argue with the order. The customer can ask for something off the menu, but it costs double, and it's the only thing the server is allowed to turn down. Next date night, you switch roles.

Why it works: whoever writes the menu says what they like to give, and whoever orders says what they want to get, without anyone having to ask for it in a sentence. Keep the menus from one night to the next: after three date nights, they say more about what you each want than a whole conversation would.

10. The photo shoot: ten photos each, then delete everything

You need: a phone. Time: twenty minutes.

Before you start, turn off automatic photo backup on the phone you're using: it's the only prep, and it matters. One of you is the photographer, the other the model. The photographer directs like a fashion shoot: "sit on the edge of the bed", "slip a strap down", "look at me, not the camera", "take that off, keep that on". You get ten photos, not one more. The model can refuse a pose, but a refusal counts as a photo taken. Then you switch.

At the end, you look at all twenty photos together, sitting side by side, and each of you says which one of the other you like best, and why. Then you delete them all, including from the recently deleted folder.

Why it works: for twenty minutes, someone looks at you with a kind of attention people don't pay each other much after years together, and tells you what they want to see. The photographer, meanwhile, discovers they have very specific ideas about staging, which is an interesting piece of information in itself.

11. Seven minutes in heaven: the only room in the house with a lock

You need: the phone's timer. Time: seven minutes, and then whatever comes next.

It's the game from high school parties, for two. Pick a room that isn't the bedroom: the bathroom, which is often the only one with a lock, the laundry room, the car in the garage. Set a seven-minute timer and shut yourselves in together. Until it goes off, nobody leaves and nobody talks. Everything else is allowed. When it rings, you come out, whatever is happening at that moment.

Why it works: seven minutes is short enough to say yes to at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday, even when you're tired. The odd room does the rest, and so does the interruption: you'll never want to get to your bedroom as badly as when you're walking out of a laundry room with the timer still ringing in your ears.

12. Heads or tails: five coin flips decide how the night ends

You need: the phone. Type "flip a coin" into the search engine, and it flips one for you. Time: everything that follows.

Before you get undressed, come up with five questions with two possible answers, two each, the fifth together. For each question, you say which answer is heads and which is tails, then you flip. For example:

• The light: on, or off.
• Who's in charge: her, or him.
• Where: the bedroom, or the living-room couch.
• The pace: very slow, or not slow at all.
• Who comes first: her, or him.

The coin's verdict isn't up for debate. Only the word that stops everything overrides it.

Why it works: these are decisions nobody wants to make out loud. "Do you want to be on top?" sounds like a request, whereas "it came up tails" asks nothing of anyone. And every so often, the coin sends you to the couch with the light on, which you hadn't done in years.

Which date night game to pick tonight, depending on the time and the energy you have left?

The right game depends less on what you're in the mood for than on how long you have before one of you falls asleep. Here's where to start.

Your evening	The game	Why this one
You're sitting down to dinner and the day is still clinging to you	The secret word (no. 1)	You play it while you eat, without changing a thing about dinner
You want to laugh first, not touch yet	The blind photo roll (no. 2) or Fishbowl (no. 3)	You laugh first, and the memories do the rest
You were going to watch an episode anyway	The pause button (no. 4) or the TV show game (no. 5)	The show goes on, it's the couch that changes
Already in bed, fifteen minutes before sleep	Two truths and a lie (no. 6) or naughty Scattergories (no. 7)	Nothing to prepare, and you stop whenever you like
A desire you don't dare say to their face	The voice memo (no. 8) or the restaurant menu (no. 9)	You ask a phone, or you put it in writing
Tired, but not that tired	Seven minutes in heaven (no. 11)	Seven minutes is hard to say no to
The whole evening ahead, kids away	The photo shoot (no. 10), then heads or tails (no. 12)	One of you looks at the other, then chance decides

These twelve games need nothing but a phone. If you have a deck of cards, a pair of dice or the kids' Jenga within reach, our sex games for couples with dice, cards and Jenga pick up from there with rules just as precise. For the nights when you'd rather rediscover each other than play, with no score and no loser, see our sensual games for couples, sorted by the senses. And if what you mostly need is to talk, the couple questions game fills a whole evening on its own. And once the evening has really started, our foreplay games to build desire stretch out what comes next, level by level, all the way to bed.

Your questions about date night games for couples

What game can we play as a couple tonight with nothing prepared?

Two truths and a lie, naughty Scattergories, the pause button and heads or tails all start in under a minute, with nothing but the two of you and a phone. The blind photo roll too, as long as you have a few years of photos in your pocket. Only Fishbowl and the restaurant menu need five minutes of prep, to write the scraps or the menu.

What games can couples play in bed?

The three fifteen-minutes-before-sleep games are made for it: two truths and a lie, naughty Scattergories and the voice memo are all played under the covers, and can end in something other than sleep. The photo shoot and heads or tails work in the bedroom too, when you have more time.

How do I suggest a game to my partner in the evening?

Suggest it at dinner, not in bed, and suggest a specific game rather than a vague idea: "let's play a game, you have to slip the word 'notary' into dinner" lands much better than "want to do something fun tonight?" That's exactly the job of the secret word: there's nothing naughty about it, and it plants the idea that tonight you're playing. For the racier games, it's all laid out in our piece on how to suggest a naughty game to your partner.

What if one of us is too tired to play?

Pick a game you can play lying down and stop at any moment, like two truths and a lie or the voice memo, and give it a time limit: "ten minutes, then sleep". A ten-minute game on a Tuesday beats a big game night that keeps getting pushed back from one Saturday to the next. And seven minutes in heaven was made for exactly that night: seven minutes is hard to say no to.

How many games should we play in one night?

Two, three at most. One game to laugh and switch gears, one to finish: the secret word at dinner then the pause button during the show, or Scattergories in bed then heads or tails. Beyond that, the evening turns into a schedule, and a schedule is something you sit through rather than play.

What couples game can we play on one phone?

In the twelve games on this page, the phone is a timer, a camera or a voice recorder, but you're still the ones making up the instructions, and that's what wears you out after a few nights. The Oopsia naughty games are played by two people on a single phone and take that job off your hands: they draw the next instruction, turn up the heat on their own, and leave you free to focus on each other.