60 dirty never have I ever questions for couples, from giggles to no filter

"Never have I ever…" You played it at twenty, around a coffee table covered in red cups, waiting to see who would drink when somebody said "never have I ever hooked up with someone in this room." Fifteen or twenty years later you share the same bed, and you're fairly sure you know everything about each other's sex life.

You rarely do. A couple who've been together for years tell each other a lot, but there are questions you stop asking because you think you know the answer, and others you never asked because the moment never came up. Never have I ever creates that moment: you're not the one asking, the sentence is. And with two players, every confession goes to the one person it really concerns.

Here are 60 dirty never have I ever questions for couples, in five rounds that go from the confessions that make you laugh to the ones that matter. First come the rules for playing with just the two of you, since the game was built for a room full of friends, then the questions, three variations, and the signs that it's time to put the phone down.

How do you play never have I ever with two people?

In a group, everyone knows how it goes: someone names a thing they've never done, and everyone who has done it drinks. With two people, that version runs dry in ten minutes, because you have to invent every line and you end up aiming every one at your partner. That's also why it only gets a few lines in our roundup of sex games for couples. Here are the rules that turn it into a real game.

• You draw the line, you don't invent it: one of you reads a line from the list out loud. It doesn't have to be true for whoever reads it, each of you answers for yourself. That avoids the classic two-player trap, where you start writing lines to catch your partner out instead of to find something out.
• You both answer at the same time: on three, thumbs up if you've done it, closed fist if you never have. Answering together stops either of you from adjusting your answer to the other's, which is the most natural temptation in the world when the line is about an ex.
• Whoever has done it takes something off: and tells the story in one sentence, just one: where, when, and what made you laugh or blush. No names, no comparisons. One sentence is enough to make the confession real, and the limit keeps the game from turning into a cross-examination about the past.
• Six items each to start: count before you begin, socks, watch and jewelry included, and even things out. Otherwise whoever came home from the office in a suit has three more lives than whoever's wearing a dress.
• You can pass, but it costs you: if there's a line you don't want to answer, you pass by taking something off without saying a word. Silence costs the same as a confession, and that's what keeps it honest: you pass because you'd rather not say, not to stay dressed.
• First one naked loses: the winner picks a dare, and the loser doesn't turn it down. Choose five or six before you start, from our list of dirty dares for couples for instance, so nobody has to invent one in the heat of victory.

If neither of you wants to pick the line, the draw below deals one at random, from a specific round or from the whole list.

Round 1: the confessions that make you laugh

Lines almost everyone has lived at least once, and that get told laughing. They bed in the one-sentence rule while nothing serious is at stake, and the first items of clothing come off before anyone notices.

1. Fake sleep. Never have I ever pretended to be asleep to get out of having sex.
2. The door. Never have I ever been interrupted in the middle by a kid knocking on the bedroom door.
3. The wrong name. Never have I ever said the wrong name in bed, or come close.
4. The giggles. Never have I ever laughed so hard during sex that we had to stop.
5. The lingerie. Never have I ever bought lingerie that I ended up never wearing.
6. Wrong number. Never have I ever sent a sexy text to the wrong person.
7. The history. Never have I ever cleared my browser history so you wouldn't come across it.
8. The parents. Never have I ever heard my parents having sex.
9. The clock. Never have I ever checked the time while we were having sex.
10. The neighbors. Never have I ever heard neighbors having sex through the wall, and kept listening.
11. Nap time. Never have I ever used the kids' nap to have sex in a hurry.
12. The cramp. Never have I ever had to stop in the middle because of a cramp.

Round 2: where and when, the places you don't admit to

The round about places. It's the easiest one to tell in a single sentence, and it's often where you find out that your partner had a far more adventurous life before you than they ever let on.

13. The car. Never have I ever had sex in a car.
14. At my parents'. Never have I ever had sex at my parents' house while they were home.
15. Outdoors. Never have I ever had sex out in nature, in a field, in the woods or on a beach.
16. Water. Never have I ever had sex in the ocean, a pool or a hot tub.
17. Work. Never have I ever had sex at my workplace.
18. The restroom. Never have I ever had sex in the restroom of a bar, a restaurant or a plane.
19. On the road. Never have I ever had sex on a night train, a boat or in an RV.
20. The coats. Never have I ever had sex at a party, in the bedroom where all the guests' coats were piled up.
21. The wedding. Never have I ever had sex during a wedding, mine or someone else's.
22. The fitting room. Never have I ever touched or been touched in a fitting room.
23. The risk. Never have I ever had sex knowing someone could see us.
24. Running late. Never have I ever been late for work because we were having sex.

Round 3: solo, what your partner doesn't see

Masturbation, porn, fantasies: this round is about what each of you does alone. It's often the one you learn the most from, precisely because it's the subject couples talk about least. Keep the rule in mind: one sentence, no comments, and on to the next line.

25. The shower. Never have I ever masturbated in the shower while you were in the next room.
26. Thinking of you. Never have I ever masturbated thinking about you while you were at work.
27. Someone else. Never have I ever masturbated thinking about someone we both know.
28. Porn. Never have I ever watched porn behind your back since we've been together.
29. The search. Never have I ever googled the name of a sex act to find out what it was.
30. The secret toy. Never have I ever owned a sex toy you don't know about.
31. The movie. Never have I ever been turned on by a scene in a movie we were watching together, without telling you.
32. The dream. Never have I ever had a sex dream about a coworker.
33. The kept fantasy. Never have I ever had a fantasy I haven't told you about.
34. The photo. Never have I ever sent a nude photo of myself.
35. The screen. Never have I ever sexted with someone I'd never met.
36. The record. Never have I ever masturbated more than once in the same day.

Round 4: in bed, what really happened

Back in the bedroom. These lines are about what you've done together or before, and most of the answers come in handy the very next time: remember the ones that made you both smile.

37. Faking it. Never have I ever faked an orgasm.
38. With you. Never have I ever faked an orgasm with you.
39. Elsewhere. Never have I ever thought about the grocery list while we were having sex.
40. The ask. Never have I ever wanted to ask you for something in bed without daring to.
41. Oral. Never have I ever come from oral sex.
42. Swallowing. Never have I ever swallowed.
43. Anal. Never have I ever tried anal sex.
44. Tied up. Never have I ever had my wrists tied during sex.
45. The spanking. Never have I ever been spanked in a way that made me want another one.
46. The mirror. Never have I ever watched myself in a mirror during sex.
47. All night. Never have I ever had sex three times in one night.
48. The video. Never have I ever filmed myself having sex.

Round 5: no filter, the confessions that matter

The last round is about other people, the past and what you haven't done yet. It's the hottest round and the most delicate at the same time. An answer here can surprise you, and that's exactly why it comes last, once the one-sentence rule is firmly in place.

49. The stranger. Never have I ever had sex with someone whose name I didn't know.
50. Same night. Never have I ever had sex on the same night I met someone.
51. Threesome. Never have I ever had a threesome.
52. Same sex. Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex.
53. The club. Never have I ever wanted to go to a swingers' club, even just to look.
54. The show. Never have I ever watched two people have sex for real, right in front of me.
55. The number. Never have I ever lied about how many people I've slept with.
56. The ex. Never have I ever thought about an ex while we were having sex.
57. Orders. Never have I ever wanted you to give me orders in bed for a whole evening.
58. The crush. Never have I ever been attracted to someone else since we've been together.
59. The no. Never have I ever regretted saying no to you one night.
60. Tonight. Never have I ever wanted you as much as I do right now.

Three variations for your next game

The basic rules easily carry an evening. For the next one, or to wake up a game that's starting to coast, here are three ways to twist it.

• "I have": flip the line. Whoever speaks names something they have done ("I've had sex on a night train"), and whoever never has takes something off. Each line becomes a confession from the person saying it, which makes it more intimate than the classic version. You do have to invent the lines, though: save it for a second game, once the list has given you ideas.
• The bet: before your partner shows a thumb or a fist, you call their answer. Get it wrong and you're the one taking something off. Long-time couples rarely miss on the present and very often miss on the life before, and that's the whole fun of this one. If guessing your partner is what you enjoy, there's a funny couples quiz built entirely around it.
• "But I'd like to": the most useful variation after years together. When you answer "never," you're allowed to add "but I'd like to." Nobody comments, you just remember. At the end of the game, compare notes: the lines where you both said "but I'd like to" are your plan for the next few weeks. To push further in that direction, our yes or no questions for couples do exactly that sorting, one desire at a time.

When to stop

A game of never have I ever has a natural ending: the first one naked. But it can also stop earlier, and four signs are worth more than any number of lines.

When one of you is naked: that's the rule. The game is over, the dare comes due, and whatever happens next is none of the game's business.

When an answer makes you both want something: if line 45 just got two thumbs up, or two "but I'd like to"s, and it can be done in the room you're in, put the phone down. Carrying on with the list at that point means preferring the line to what it's promising.

When a confession lands badly: that's mostly the risk of round 5, which is about other people and the past. Close the round, not the evening, and step down a level. What gets said during the game stays in the game: you don't bring it up in an argument the following week, or nobody will ever play honestly again.

When someone passes twice in a row: two passes in a row from the same person say the round is too high for tonight. That's not a failure, it's information. Go back a round or switch games.

Your questions about never have I ever for couples

How do you play never have I ever without drinking?

With clothes, as in the rules on this page. The drink was what was at stake at a party with friends; for two people on a Tuesday night after the kids are in bed, it puts you to sleep more than it warms you up. Clothing does the same job, every confession costs something, and it adds what alcohol never did: an end to the game you can see coming, one item at a time.

What's the difference between never have I ever and "I have"?

It's the same game turned inside out. In never have I ever, whoever speaks names something they haven't done, and whoever has done it reveals themselves. In "I have," whoever speaks reveals themselves. The first is more comfortable to start with, since you're reading a line that doesn't commit you to anything. The second is more intimate, and it works better once the list has given you ideas.

Do you have to tell everything about your past?

No, and the rules are built for exactly that. You tell it in one sentence, with no names and no comparisons, and any line can be passed for an item of clothing. So you stay in control of what you say. What the game asks is that you don't lie: show a thumb or pass, but don't make a fist over something you've done.

What if my partner confesses something I didn't know?

Let them finish their sentence, don't ask a follow-up, and move on to the next line. A confession made in a game isn't a confession in the serious sense, and it isn't a reproach either: it's an answer to a line drawn at random. If it's still on your mind the next day, talk about it then, calmly, outside the game.

How many questions for one evening?

With six items each, a game usually lasts between twenty and thirty lines, so about half an hour. That's enough to reach round 4 without using up the list, and you keep round 5 for next time, which gives you a reason to play again.

What if we can't bring ourselves to read the dirtiest lines out loud?

That's very common, and it isn't the line that's embarrassing, it's looking like you picked it. Let the draw on this page choose for you and pass the phone back and forth: whoever reads discovers the line at the same time as the other. That's how the Oopsia games work too, played by two people on one screen, dealing the cards for you.