60 yes or no questions for couples, from mild to explicit

The whole thing fits in a sentence: one of you asks, the other answers yes or no. Nothing to explain, nothing to justify.

Sixty questions below, in four rounds. The first one you can play on a Tuesday night in front of the telly. The last one, not so much.

Why yes or no beats a real question

It looks thin, and that's exactly its strength.

An open question — "so what would you like?" — asks you to put a desire into words, stand behind it, and own the words you picked. That's a lot at once, and it's why people say "I don't know" when they know perfectly well. The step is too high.

Yes or no removes the step. You're not phrasing anything and not defending anything: you answer in one word to an idea somebody else has already put into words for you. It's the cheapest admission there is, and it tells you just as much. A yes to a specific question teaches you more than ten minutes of careful conversation.

How it's played

• Take turns, the same question both ways.
• Answer yes or no, no commentary.
• Passing is allowed.
• Four rounds, from mild to explicit.

You can play it right here, or read the questions below and ask them your own way.

Round 1 — The things you never say

The warm-up. All the small stuff you keep to yourself without quite knowing why.

1. Have you thought about having sex with me today?
2. Do you remember the first time you wanted me?
3. Is there something I do without noticing that gets you going?
4. Have you ever picked what you were wearing because of the effect it would have on me?
5. Does it turn you on when I stare at you through a boring dinner with friends?
6. Have you ever wanted me at a completely inappropriate moment?
7. Is there a part of me you look at more than the rest?
8. Is there a part of you you'd like me to touch more often?
9. Would you like us to spend a lot longer on the build-up?
10. Do you prefer it first thing in the morning?
11. Have you ever wanted to push me against a wall the second you got home?
12. Is there something we used to do at the start and stopped?
13. Have you ever replayed our last night together in the middle of a meeting?
14. Have you ever pretended to be asleep to avoid having sex?
15. Are you wondering how far down this list goes?

Round 2 — Out of the bedroom

The bed does the job perfectly well. But the fear of being caught is a hard thing to replace.

16. Would you like us to do it in the car, like when we were twenty?
17. Would you like us to book a hotel room one afternoon, just for that?
18. Would you like us to do it on the kitchen table?
19. Does the idea of being walked in on turn you on?
20. Would you like us to do it at friends' place, silently, while they're next door?
21. Would you like us to do it outside — balcony, garden, beach?
22. Would you like us to do it in water, once?
23. Would you like us to slip off to a restaurant toilet?
24. Would you like us to do it in a changing room?
25. Would you like us to meet in a bar and play two strangers?
26. Would you like to go out one evening with no underwear, and nobody else knowing?
27. Would you like us to send each other pictures during the day?
28. Would you like me to turn up at your work for a quick break?
29. Would you like us to go to a sex club, even just to watch?
30. Would you like me to wake you in the middle of the night just to do it?

Round 3 — Who's in charge

Turning the dial up. Power and props are what restart a couple who've been at it a while.

31. Would you like me to dominate you?
32. Or the other way round — would you like to dominate me?
33. Would you like me to give you orders in bed?
34. Would you like to be tied up next time?
35. Would you like to be blindfolded?
36. Would you like us to try spanking?
37. Would you like us to buy a toy to use together?
38. Would you like us to try a specific role play?
39. Do you like being talked to explicitly during?
40. Is there a word you'd like to hear me say?
41. Is there one you can't stand?
42. Would you like me to pick your underwear for tomorrow?
43. Would you like us to film it, even if we delete it straight after?
44. Would you like us to try ice, or warm oil?
45. Would you like us to leave porn playing in the background?

Round 4 — No filter

The last round is the bluntest. What actually happens when bodies meet.

46. Is there a position we've stopped doing that you miss?
47. Would you like oral to last a lot longer, both ways?
48. Would you like us to spend hours on each other with no penetration at all?
49. Would you like us to try anal?
50. Would you like us to look each other in the eye at the exact moment we come?
51. Would you like us to put a mirror by the bed?
52. Would you like to watch me masturbate?
53. Would you like me to watch you masturbate?
54. Have you thought about me while masturbating this week?
55. Would you like to swallow, or for me to?
56. Would you like us to try getting you there without touching you?
57. Would you like us to do it very slowly once, taking the whole night?
58. And sometimes, do you need it rough?
59. Have you ever faked it?
60. Do you want to act on one of tonight's yeses, right now?

The version with dares

The questions on their own make a good conversation. Add dares and they make an evening.

The rule: whoever passes takes a dare. Pick five or six before you start.

For laughs

• Answer the next three questions doing an impression of the other one.
• Tell the most embarrassing story from your early days together.
• Pay a compliment you've never paid before.
• Whisper until the next dare.
• Let the other one pick the music for the rest of the evening.

For heat

• Take off one item of clothing, their choice.
• Kiss them for thirty seconds, no hands.
• A three-minute massage, wherever they point.
• Wear a blindfold for the next five questions.
• Answer one off-list question of their choosing, in detail.
• Stay still for a minute while they do as they like.
• Say out loud what you'd do if the questions stopped right now.

Dares happen on the spot, not at the end.

Afterwards

You now have a list of things your partner said yes to. That's what you came for.

Take one and give it a day. "Saturday, let's do the one from question 34" works far better than "we should do that again sometime". Anything without a date on it never happens.

If it's the bringing-it-up part that stops you, that's what how to suggest a naughty game to your partner is for.

And if you'd rather just carry on tonight without having to pick, the Oopsia games draw the cards for you. Twenty minutes, one phone, nothing to install.